Christmas is upon us once again. All I have left to do is wrap the presents and put them under the tree. I love watching my children open their presents on Christmas day. I am truly blessed.
This year I feel positive about Christmas, this has been a long time coming. Normally I feel too depressed and struggle with my eating disorder and the impulsive behaviour associated with my borderline personality disorder.
This year, I want things to be different for my children and husband. I want to be the ‘perfect’ mother and wife. But perfection is so hard to achieve.
Something has changed, I do not feel like the failure that I believed I was last Christmas and the Christmas before that etc. I have done everything with my children in mind and given myself a good kick when starting to feel sorry for myself. I have also started to accept the more ‘negative’ emotions I have and tell myself that it is ok to feel the way I do and not try to brush them under the carpet and pretend they are not there. So it is OK if I am not that ‘perfect’ a mother and wife after all.
It is OK to be me because no matter how difficult things feel at times I know they will pass and leave me and my husband and children will always be there for me. I am truly blessed.